SURVEY WORD BY WORD A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the shortage of food in rest of the world". The survey was a huge failure. … . Do you know WHY? * In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant. * In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant. * In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant. * In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant. * In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant. * In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant. * In the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world meant. by Anonymous

Santa : Drinking-n-Driving Dono Sath-sath Nahin Ho Sakty. Banta : Kyon Ji ? Santa : Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau. by Santa Banta

Once Sergent Bhim Singh and his friends decided to go to DEHRADUN to see a HINDI Movie. Sergent Bhim singh was sent to buy tickets. After a great hassels he bought the tickets for the movie he thought was in hindi, which read as "HAR HAR DUAR KHULA" but was wrongly spelt out. It is no gain saying the fact that his friends,too were of his caliber and from ranks. The movie show started exactly at 1115 AM. The dialogues were in English--Bhimsingh and his friends thought it was some kind of a trailor of some and the movie will start. they sat for an hour and a half but the TRAILOR carried on. They got furious and came out to fight with the manager. manager was very polite and told them there was no HINDI MOVIE show. Bhim Singh got furious and he brought him out to the DISPLAY BOARD and said, " READ THIS. ISN'T IT 'HAR HAR DUAR KHULA'--THOUGH WRONGLY SPELT OUT." Manager was stunned and he could only say, "NO, SIR, IT IS 'HORRORS OF DRACULA". by Anon

We had guest lunch in honour of General East More Land of US army who was visiting the Academy. As per the protocol, a senior appointment was to sit next to the wife of the VVIP, on the luncheon table. It was sergent Bhim Singh's turn. Poor bhim singh, through ranks, was pink and green in spoken English. he always used to translate the vernacular dialogue in his mind before he uttered a word. to say the least, he was generally quiet. our Battalion Commander, Lt col Lesile Herbert was sitting next to Bhim Singh and I was, just across the table in front of them. Protocol demanded that Cadet Appointment to start the conversation with the Lady. Lesile Herbert would nudge Bhim Singh with his elbow to talk to the lady, but without any response from Bhim singh . When he did it, four five times, Bhim Singh cleared his throat by coughing , looked at the dish in front of him--it was grilled CHICKEN--and asked in a loud and clear voice: Bhim Singh: MA'AM, HOW DO YOU LIKE THE COCK? There was stunned silence around them. lesile Herbert was sweating because even commandant had heard this. Mrs EASTMORELAND was blushing and so many other ladies around on the Table. But Mrs EastMoreland came out with a mischievous reply and said: OH, I HAD ENOUGH HOW ABOUT YOU? by Anon